(67, f, single, new-ish to poly) I recently started seeing someone who, like me, is poly, single, and looking for a nesting partner. A very rare find for both of us. Soooooo much between us is excellent. We are VERY compatible in so many areas. We are compatible with humor, sex, music, travel preferences, books, movies, even logistics at home. Yet, the intellectual conversations are completely missing. He’s very intelligent. I wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t. But I’m use to being with people who discuss what’s happening in the world, science, politics, sociology, etc. When I’ve started those conversations they have fallen flat. We have had many long discussions on relationships, sex, camping, etc. So it isn’t that he doesn’t like to talk. I’m guessing the topics aren’t interesting to him. I haven’t asked, but I will eventually. I don’t expect my partner to fulfill all my needs. Yet there are huge chunks of time when our conversations are non-existent or are about memes on Facebook. Not my thing.

My history is that I was married and monogamous for nearly 40 years. My husband was my “soulmate” for lack of a better word. We were compatible in all areas — except sex. Even so I was faithful and I believe he also was. After his death I started my poly adventure. I’m reading “Stepping Off The Relationship Escalator”. I’ve read “PolySecure” and “Mating in Captivity”.

MY QUESTIONS: Have you had experience with anything like this? Have you found a big area not fulfilled by your partner yet has (or hasn’t) been fulfilled by friends and other partners? Do you have advice based on your personal experience? Or ways to look at this that I could consider?

Thank you in advance. Being a part of a community like this is extremely helpful.