Title: How Do You Mourn Romantic Fantasies?
How do you handle being aware that a perfect person that could fulfill all of your wants and needs is nothing but a fantasy?
I still struggle, from time to time, missing that one person, I still wish this one perfect person existed not only in fantasies, so I would not desire nor need anyone else.
That has always been the hardest romantic idealization, fantasy or illusion to mourn being desillusioned about, specially when we live in a world in which mononormative amatonormativity is expected and pushed "down our throats", basically all the time.
I also have an unhealthy habit of fantasizing and dreaming then feeling bad for things that do not exist or did not happen or cannot happen.
Long story short, how do you cope with desillusions?
💖💜💙 💙❤💛❤🖤
I think these answers, while simple, are not easy. And take time. I'm 43 and had a lot of grief over what I thought my life was going to be (marriage children) and the idea that I could be someone's "person." I continue to try and focus on building a community of people who, between all of them, can help meet all my needs. There are still times when I feel lonely, but mostly my life is pleasantly full now.
You likely will in time. But you have to fully feel all your feelings about it before that will happen.
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- 2 years ago
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- reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy...
I have worked really hard to create a network of people that I can go to for different needs/interests and try to nurture those relationships. I still worry deeply about what will happen when I am old and might need help, so I started mentoring a teen in foster care too in hopes of creating mutually beneficial relationships. And hopefully I'll be the cool aunt to my friends' kids too. This was all brought on by a fantastic podcast I listened to about "diversifying" relationships. It was a turning point for me.