Hey! Me (27) and my partner (25) have opened up our relationship a while ago (not poly), we have been together for a year now and opened up about 5 months ago (before we never consciously closed it, but we both focused on getting to know each other and happen to didnt see any other people). We decided mutually, me always knowing it would be a bumpy ride for me, but keeping this consciously in mind because i wanted this. We have a very healthy relationship, very respectful, honest and loving where we support each other so well.

I have a lot of big insecurities though when it comes to sexuality, also because i basically started dating only in my mid Twenties, and have some other difficult topics attached to it, and they are the first person i was actually ever fully comfortable with sexually. So I am managing quite well to work through jealousy, which i am proud of :). But I am still very much struggling with how i feel like its a "competition".

I have not hooked up or even kissed anyone since we opened up 5 months ago, whereas they had multiple encounters. Things feel so one-sided to me, and it brings me back to old times, in which i have always felt like its impossible for me to date. I want to date and hook up with people, just the getting there is really hard for me. Its hard for me to be even happy for them, and i would love to be so happy! But the first thought i always have is likea kind of dull "ah yea sure. You found someone again, and im still sitting here just fantasising about it."

I am so scared this dynamic will set into Stone more and more and my self-confidence is shrinking in this matter. It feels like i am not having all the time in the World to discover my sexuality and intimacy with other people but its like a race, where i am left behind, which puts me under so much pressure. (Which my partner is not to blame for ...we just have very different past lifes regarding sexuality etx..)

rationally, I of course know, that things are not a competition, but I do not feel it emotionally one tiny bit. And i am so sure I am able to work through this, I dont feel very desperate, just very very insecure.

This is, why it would feel so reassuring to hear from some people that maybe have been in a similar situation and how you might have dealt with it alone and within your relationship :) I tried to outline it roughly - but of course there is so much more to say to this situation that I did not write down now. if you recognise yourself in my words a bit and would like to share some of your experiences, that would be so lovely. I rly would appreciate some kind words on this matter :) thank you!