Hi everyone! I'm very new to this, so I'm open to any and all insight.

My partner (29M) and I (30F) started dating about a year ago, and from the start, we've been nonmonogamous. This has only been explored on his side, however - he has a lot of issues regarding past partners and infidelity and I've always been very hesitant to venture outside the bounds of our relationship for fear of hurting him. When he goes on dates or hooks up, I always end up feeling upset, because in one way or another, plans change and I'm left feeling very left out. I've talked to him about my need for increased communication and he's tried to be more open, which I'm grateful for.

My current problem is that our relationship is not in a good place for several reasons unrelated to nonmonogamy. After a particularly rough few weeks, my partner has a date with someone else. I'm finding it very hard to not feel resentful and jealous. I wish he would want to spend time with me and try to talk about what's going wrong in our own relationship instead of seeking comfort outside it. However, I feel like if I were to bring this up, it would just seem like I'm trying to control his dating life - something I've always stayed out of. We live together and I want to give him space to have a good date and feel free to bring his date back to the apartment, but feeling like I can't be home also adds to the feeling of being left out.

I guess my question is this: how do you navigate nonmonogamy when you and your partner are struggling in your relationship?