Hey, so I've posted on here before. My wife and I are new to ENM and have been dabbling slowly. We've done some dating/playing together. We've been talking to other people and she's been talking to someone who wants to take her to a concert. We've got open communication, I've talked with him too. He seems cool, we're all gonna meet up before they go to the concert, etc.

I have previously struggled with my mental health, and I have past traumas and abandonment issues, etc. Where this is getting in the way here is that every time she mentions someone, or meeting someone, I am immediately thrown into a defensive position, where I feel like it's him vs. me.

Does anyone have any advice, tips, or resources on like...how to stop viewing that other person a threat and talking yourself down from that?