I’m curious where other people land on this.
My own context: My husband (33m) and I (32f) have been non monogamous for about a year, though we talked about it for years in advance. It’s not strictly sexual - I have a close friend with whom I sort of...casually date. My husband struggles with his mental health, and although our non-monogamy is not the cause of his troubles (he’s suffered from major depression and anxiety since I met him) when he’s in a bad cycle he feels very jealous and insecure.
I always treat this as a sign to dial back on non-monogamy until my husband is feeling more stable. This doesn’t happen often: usually about a one week period every two months or so.
On the one hand this seems like the completely obvious choice - I am not going to go off and fuck someone else while the love of my life is having panic attacks at home. The theory of it makes perfect sense to me.
The flip side, though, is that caring for someone in this kind of mental health crisis is extremely draining and frightening and difficult. After a bonkers and exhausting episode I am usually feeling just...off balance and vulnerable and quite alone. My husband is obviously not in any shape to help me (nor should he have to help me cope with caring for him when he’s ill) on those days, but once he’s fallen asleep I usually find myself just wanting to have a cry and be held.
Sometimes it feels like I am stepping back from a significant source of support in my life at exactly the time when I need it most.
Although I don’t think we would change our dynamic based on what anyone says here, I’m curious how other people manage this kind of thing.

Edit: I’m specifically curious on how other people manage this, but I’m not looking for advice on whether it’s appropriate for me to lean on my friend for emotional support.