I need help, I'm not sure how to proceed, and I'm sorry for the long/to much info

Little background, I'm a male in my late 20s, before I met my amazing partner I was over 300lbs, struggling with occupational PTSD and alchoholism, and was struggling in dating life to the point I would not get a match or go on a date for 6 months to a year...so I finally reversed myself, got fit, tackled my deamons, got my dream job, learned that some of my previous issues where related to having ASD, met my wonderful partner (30sf) who is bi and had multiple fwb. She helped me make dating profiles, got me into kinks that I really like and gave me ideas of things to try that I can with others.

In about 2 years I've met 2 people. First one was amazing, she taught me alot but we only got to see eachother 2x and then kept leading me on and cancelling. Some things happened with her s/o and I had to end things for safey reasons. The second individual, also a very interesting person but only got to see her once then she kept cancelling, but still keeps in contact...but my partner doesnt want me to see her again due to her cancelling on me...

My partner, she had a serious fwb, and they got see eachother alot, especially when I was going through intense training for my job and got to go on a few dates, and gets loads of matches. But her fwb had to end things

Anyways here is where I'm mainly having issues: I barely get matches, (when I do, it ends up them unmatching before first message or just keeping me around to chat and never meet up, or constantly cancelling) I constantly try new apps, groups, and such but no luck at all... Also for the last 6 months or so I've feeling sexually repressed, alot of the kinks and things I like, my partner doesn't like them anymore or flat out hard boundary. She recently matched with an excellent couple but it ended up just being the male half, who is very cool, and I think they are going to start seeing eachother.

I have loads of great hobbies, and always try to keep occupied, and with our schedules we only date and see others when one of us is working to keep time together for us. I love my partner dearly, I know she wants me and wants to keep me for the rest of our lives but other than her I just feel so unwanted. I try to work on stuff with my therapist, I try to be extroverted, I try to find friends in this lifestyle, Is there anything I can do more? 

Edit: I forgot to ask, I also trying to figure out why all the sudden my partner doesn't want to do rough things, or other certain things anymore with me, but is okay with doing it with others? Like I feel like she mellowed out with me and has been focus way more on intimacy.