I'm not fast to get to a point where I actually want to meet someone, where I can possibly get attracted to them. Especially not since I have nesting partners so potential others are just that, a chance for new perspectives and learning pretty much, not something I need. And I also don't seem to be all that compatible with most people.

Recently, I had three realistic potential sexual partners. One I dated a bit and had sex with once last year, we liked eachother but covid and other things got in the way of meeting again.

Another I had a date with last year, no sex, pretty sure we would have but covid and other things there, too.

The third I started talking to a year ago, been friends since, met once a few weeks ago and wanted to meet again.

And now, in the last week, all three have been scratched from the list for different reasons.

I'm not bothered by it but it seems my ambitions of sluttiness are once again halted a bit. I'm not upset about it in any way, but still trying to wrap my head around it. And maybe a little bit jealous of those women who can more easily let people in, and make use of that apparently endless supply of willing men. But that's not me. Maybe in a year or so, there is someone else. There is already one I'd want if I could have him but that second part seems dubious and not realistic.