The DADT principle seems to receive mostly negative comments in the community, but as somebody new to ENM (approaching it from solopoly rather than mono side, if that matters) I don't feel prepared to know much about, leave alone meet, my metas yet.

Would be interesting to hear from people who have found a good way to navigate it. Which questions do you ask and when? How do you make sure the answer would not be TMI? Do you give your partner any guidelines on how to share information with you? For instance, for me it might be "As long as it's less serious than what we have, I don't need to know at all". Is that a good idea?

And how do you navigate not wanting to know metas in person? What happens if my partner decides to build a relationship with somebody I already know? Or if we stumble upon their partner while together?

A bit more context - I live in a major city so the chances of me knowing my metas are small. And I am neither seeking a serious committment, nor tend to be clingy - hanging out together whenever convenient or drifting apart for months while pursuing other things is fine.

I'd also appreciate any resources on the topic that you might recommend!