Just wanted to post a bit of praise and a recommendation for the book Polysecure. I discounted it originally as we identify as non-monogamous but not poly, but this is the first book I've read which made me feel valid.

As someone who is heavily on the anxious preoccupied attachment side everything else I have read - the ethical slut, more than two, etc - has made me feel like I had no hope of surviving in a world where autonomy is the goal and rules were frowned upon. Polysecure has helped me to understand that while a level of autonomy is important, and rules shouldn't be at the detriment of others, it is possible to feel securely attached to your partner while exploring ENM.

Just reading something from the perspective that it's possible to build a relationship that will help someone who is anxious preoccupied, rather than feeling like my insecurity is wholly my issue and I need to deal with it to allow my partner full autonomy (re: more than two), has lifted a big weight of my mind 💕