So 2 years ago I was in my first open relationship with a man who had been a swinger for about 10 years. His knowledge and experience was invaluable, I was finally with someone who shared my ideal relationship style. Few months in we went to a plush party and while there we spotted this couple. He (let's call him Jay) was tall, fit, a killer smile and arms I wanted to melt into. She (let's call her Sarah) was curvy and sexy but her fake boobs didn't float my boat (no offense meant to those with them) but my man was smitten with her.

As we sip a cocktail or 2, Jay confesses that he wants to be my puppy; as in lock me in a cage, degrade me, use me as you see fit, lead me by the leash sort of thing. I didn't bat an eye as I have had many domme experiences before but Sarah just about choked on the air she was breathing. Immediately her feelings towards me changed and I later learned Jay is not submissive at all, matter of fact that was the first time he ever made such desires known to her. Apparently she was turned off by his submissive curiosities and she wanted him to shove them back wherever they came from; loving supportive wife that one.

We end up in the hotel room soon enough and Jay wants to suck my man's cock; she made it clear that was not an option either. They could swing but no "gay stuff". If you will notice the common thread here: Jay is on a roll with blindsiding his wife with these new found sexual interests spur of the moment and she is just whacking them down, meanwhile we are in the middle of this watching the cringey drama. Luckily we didn't see them for the remainder of the weekend.

A couple weeks later, we reconnect on Kasidie then kik but they lived several states away so not much comes of it. My man becomes my ex a few months later and we move on. Out of the blue Jay messages me wanting to chat and I insist he adds Sarah to the chat. Well she is just cold and can only manage minimal pleasantries. Jay assures me she is ok with me, just terrible at texting. He then moves on to message me separately to tell me about these fantasies he has had about me and him, I have to say they were hot AF. My weakness is a sub that doesn't "look like a sub". Give me that bad ass Marine or corporate CEO on his knees and I lose my mind...but I digress. Anyway, Jay was that guy hence his wife's shock and my excited skipping heart.

A month or so later he invites me to another swinger weekend event that was about 4 hrs from me. I said no, he asked why, long story short he books me a suite and venmos me $2000; I was going. When the long awaited weekend comes around, Sarah is shocked to see me....weird! I later learn she was never informed by her darling hubby about me coming and definitely not the suite or money he sent me; TF??! And the first night I arrived, once I saw them she clung to him like crazy that I started feeling like a third wheel. I quickly remembered I am surrounded by swingers and I am the coveted unicorn, basically I own the world. I moved on and had fantastic experiences into the wee early hours.

That morning, exhausted and drained I get a call from Jay telling me he is coming over. I have sooo many questions. That's when I learn about his cheating ways and let him have it. He plays the victim card and says the wife controls how open the relationship really is. He can't explore or do what he wants even though she has free reign so he feels he has no choice but to do what he did to have a moment with me. He butters me up about how he has never felt about anyone the way he feels about me, never wanted to sub until he saw me that day....blah blah! Basically am the victim, suck my dick to take away the neglect I feel.

It gets better though: he confesses that Sarah does not want kids but he does and he wants them with me. He assures me, "I will move you closer to us, get you any apartment you want, I will be a great dad, I will give you an allowance, we will make such beautiful children...." I was speechless for what felt like a lifetime and he took that opportunity to ask if am on the pill and if not we can go raw that very moment to start on this baby making journey. He assures me Sarah is hangover and asleep, she won't miss him for a couple of hours.

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried!!! I simply walked to the door, opened it and looked at him; he got the hint. But of course in true Jay fashion as he leaves he says "think about it, please baby." I laughed until I cried shortly there after. I mean, could it get any more absurd???

I enjoyed my weekend with other connections and left as planned with no further Jay encounters. He tried to locate me, even left a note at my door. I get back home and a few days later he texts me. He says he is sorry but can't keep chatting with me anymore. He wished me the best however and hopes I have a great life. That was the last I ever heard from both of them. The moral of the story...who am I kidding? I wouldn't know where to start. But perhaps if I had to pick a couple: -your partner's wants and desires are as valid as your own. Shutting them down doesn't change the fact that they still have them. Find a way to listen and work through them. -Cheating and lying is never the solution, soon or later it blows up. If I was made of weaker stuff, I could have ended up pregnant that weekend!!! As if there wasn't enough of a shit show already. -But also tough as it may be, some couples need to recognize when instead of NM or the LS they need to regroup, check in, get back to monogamy for abit, get some therapy or even consider divorce when the chasm is too profound.

I always find myself wondering what story Jay told Sarah. To this day, it seems hard to believe it happened to me. **SIGHS Thanks for hanging in there with me. I feel better.