Hey peeps.

Me (30f) and my partner (27m) have been together for 6 years and open for 2. We have a good and strong relationship.

So he started dating a new girl, J (32F). I am dating her best friend, B34m). This was not planned by me or my partner, him and Jess met by a coincidence in a bar. I know J and B have been intimate because she told my partner about that. No idea if they are friends or fwb’s.

Last week, I asked B to come over to a bar to see me. He came over.. J was also there and she was all over him (normally she is not) and i could barely talk with him because she was constantly asking for his attention. Eventually he went home with her.

My partner knows i sometimes have trouble sleeping when i am alone and he is having sex with someone i don’t feel comfortable with yet. For that reason he wanted to come home after the sex instead of sleeping over. I know the trouble with sleeping are my problem to deal with, so it is super sweet that he wanted to come home for me, as they are just seeing each other casually. He does hang out with her a bit after the sex.. some cuddles, talks and they hang out for a bit.

Both times when he went to her place, she tried to make him stay for the night. He was very clear and told her that he has an agreement with me to come home. Still she was hinting and joking that it would be better if he stayed with her. I feel very disrespected by this.

Do you think these things are red flags? She comes over as jealous and possessive to me. She is monogamous and would never want to have an open relationship so that kinda confirms it. I don’t really know what to do here. I’ve talked with my partner and he is not going to see her again as long as i’m uncomfortable with that. But he wants to. It actually hurts me that he still wants to see her because she is not very respectful towards me.

What can i do? I don’t want to hold him back but i have a bad feeling about her. Should i let this go and just trust him? Or should i listen to my feelings and ask him to not see her again?