So me (21 f) and my boyfriend (21 m) have been dating for 2 1/2 years and living together for a little over a year. Our relationship is perfect, we never get into serious fights because we’re both really good at communicating, our interests align, and we both find each other to be insanely attractive. SO I THOUGHT I considered myself to be pretty vanilla and content in our monogamy, but recently I’ve been having some really off-brand fantasies about other people…specifically another couple.

In these fantasies I always envision my bf and I “swapping” with another long-term f/m couple who have the same kind of general vibe as us. Going out on dates, hanging out, having sex, etc. Sometimes all together in a foursome, sometimes splitting off into pairs…

I told my bf about these fantasies and he just doesn’t get it. “What? Why would we want to see other people?” or “Oh, so you want me to let you get fucked by another guy?” UGHHH it’s so frustrating, idk how to explain to him that it’s deeper than sex, I think I just want to express love outside of the confines of our cookie cutter relationship, while still viewing him as my “main” partner and the other couple doing the same (idk if this makes sense!). I’m very new to this kind of stuff, I haven’t really had the opportunity to “explore” myself sexually or romantically because of how young and inexperienced I am (which is why I think I’m so curious about intimacy with others). Are these fantasies as outlandish as he acts like they are, and if not, do you think he might grow to understand and maybe even want to pursue them?

If you have any testimonies, please share lol