I want to share a brief intro ABOUT ME as well as more details about MY SITUATION in order to have a better understanding, but you can also skip it and go straight to the CHALLENGE part.

ABOUT ME I'm a 35F and I started dating recently after having terminated my 3rd last long monogamous relationship. This last one lasted 8 years. I have been enjoying my single life in the past 6 months by meeting new people, making new experiences and I also started to learn more about ENM, polyamory and BDSM. I am still discovering what I like, my needs and my boundaries. I made a promise to myself that I will take my time to explore and get in touch with myself before committing to a new "serious" relationship. My statement was "I wanna be single for at least an entire year".

MY SITUATION After several dates, two months ago I connected with 2 men: - I met a 37M who is currently not emotionally available and we have a great connection. We agreed to be FWB immediately, but we also like to go out for dinner or have just a drink. We met 5 times so far. - I started to chat with a 43M with whom I built a strong connection, not only for common values, but also because of the sexual affinity (D/s) and more. Due to the distance we managed to meet only last week and I can see him again in 2 months.

I did set clear expectations since the beginning that we won't be exclusive considering my situation : I want to explore more! However at the moment I feel very much connected on a deeper level with both men. Moreover they know about each other and that I want to see them regularly. I even thought that I would like if they could meet one day. Now I don't believe in "non-serious" relationships, instead I consider them serious AND complicated because after all it is a relationship with a human being who has emotions and where agreements, constant communication and much more is required. I feel like I'm embracing the polyamory lifestyle pretty well and I believe it fits me. But at the same time it seems like I jumped from not been willing to commit to over-committing 😅

CHALLENGE I have strong feelings for the 43M and we spoke about open relationship and I also introduced to him the concept of polyamory. Even thought we know each other for 2 months only and met once, I fantasize about a future together. Perhaps things will change the next time I see him, but I could think of him as my primary partner one day since we are such a strong match. He is curious about a polyamory relationship but we both struggle with jealousy already. Moreover the distance makes things more complicated.

He sees another woman and I need to deal with a bit of jealousy because I would like to be the one that he can spend more time with him. However I think it is important for both of us to explore our sexuality. And even if it is hurting a bit, I wanna know when he meets her and I'm curious to know more about her.

Instead he seems struggling more with jealousy at the point that he prefers not knowing when I go out with other dates or the FWB, unless he asks about it. That makes me feel guilty and I don't want to hurt him.

I don't know how to deal with these mix feelings. It starts to feel like a torture (hence the long post). For sure I'll keep sharing with him how I feel. But my biggest concern is: does it even make sense to invest time and energy in a ENM LDR of this type? Are we just gonna hurt each other? Shall we focus on the positive only?

Thanks!