Looking for advice on a shifting dynamic.

My wife and I talked about nonmonogamy for a long time and started out with what I’d call "shared nonmonogamy” like swinging. I wasn’t always physically present but even when she played alone she would tell me about it and keep me pretty involved.

We went to a swinger club a few times and had a pretty lack luster experience, and then we had a swinging experience that went really poorly. She set it up and was into it, but then couldn’t get into it in the moment, ended up feeling very frustrated and the whole experience was sort of a mess.

I thought it was just a bad day, but she ended up coming to me the next day and basically said that she’d been having a hard time with the swinging and the shared experiences, and it was sort of the breaking point for her.

Through a lot of talking, ultimately she has realized that she has no interest in swinging and only is into nonmonogamy that lets her explore on her own.

I’m certainly open to that, and there are parts of it that I can understand are great, but also I quite like what we have going. I don’t even mind her playing on her own, but part of the excitement is hearing about and knowing what she’s doing.

We’ve now been talking about it for a while and basically where she’s at is that she’d like to play/date separately, and swinging / same room / sharing pics & vids would be off the table.

Shes open to verbally sharing things that happen sometimes, if a partner gives consent, but has said that she’d prefer the “vast majority” of experiences to be private.

I know a lot of couples do it this way, I think I’m just looking for some advice on getting there and being able to separate the experiences of nonmonogamy from something we share to something we do on our own.