My husband and I have been ENM for about two years, dating separately. We’ve said from the beginning that we would like a friendship with good chemistry and sex, but are not looking for romance and love. Someone we enjoy being around but aren’t looking to formally be a girlfriend/boyfriend.

I (32F) have been suffering with crippling anxiety and limerence every time I meet a partner that I am really into. After a first date or sex, I get home and immediately the limerence begins. “Is he thinking about me?” “Am I his favorite partner?” “Does he like me the way I like him?”.

Some other important tidbits: - I’m in therapy (individual and couples) - I’m medicated for my ADHD and anxiety - I am knowledgeable about anxious attachment style and have worked with my therapist about this (we cannot seem to find any real link from my childhood) - I have been doing allll of the “right” things for the past week. Walking, meditating, getting off of my phone, connecting with friends and family, journaling.

It’s almost like I revert to this little kid who is boy crazy and obsessed. I feel ashamed for how obsessive my thoughts are. Boys were never really into me when I was in school so I don’t know if I just never learned how to handle these feelings or if there’s something else going on.

I guess I’m just wondering if it’s ever going to get better. Has anyone overcome these feelings long-term? If so, what did you find most helpful? I’m getting to the point where the after effects of meeting or sleeping with someone new are so debilitating that it takes away all of the fun in the first place.