Despite all the intellectualizing and boundary setting, the feelings still showed up. Now they're big. But neither of us will ever leave our primary partner. So trying to be glass half full about enjoying the time we do spend together, knowing damn well at some point we will let each other go.

I realize I'm just in my own head about it. Things could cool mutually. We could transform into lifelong friends. Who knows what's next. But I can't help but try to confront the inevitable loss because it seems like it will hurt this time.

Ironic that the ENM community breaks through the cultural gatekeeping of sex and the feelings that come with it. Yet the pain of letting go is always in the shadows - asking you if it's actually worth it?

I've had two other long term non-primary partners. But this is the first one that has me in this way. I guess next time I'll be more careful with myself.

How have others managed this feeling?