A long time acquaintance pursued me romantically a few months ago. I’ve known him and his wife for over a decade. His wife discovered she’s lesbian a couple of years ago so they opened their marriage which led to polyam. I’m normally monogamous, but also open minded. I said I’d give a relationship with him a shot and it’s honestly been the best relationship I’ve ever been in (I’m divorced).

The wife also has a wife (through commitment ceremony) and they have an additional house.

When I asked him should I expect him to try and make new connections/relationships with people he explained he only has the bandwith for one intense relationship. We’ve actually fallen quite deeply for one another. I know NRE and all that but something feels different (I know it’s cliche).

Our families normally hang out and get a long effortlessly but during a conversation he let slip his wife brought up separation during an argument and I think they moved to separate bedrooms. I guess I should’ve asked then but I’m still learning the dynamics of this relationship style and I don’t really have a good grasp on what’s ok to ask and not.

There’s also been an air of tension recently when they’re in the same room. She’s even been complaining to me about him.

I’ve put in some work. I’ve read More Than Two. I’ve listened to several podcasts and read several forums. I’m a little shaken by the possibility of them separating, because now the strength of their marriage gives me stability for some reason.

What should I do here?