my boyfriend has been seeing this girl for a few months and this has caused me a lot of anxiety, mainly because we have a certain difficulty talking about it. i feel very insecure due to past relationships and this ends up weighing on my fear every time he goes out with her, some more, some less. however, we talked about it these days and i talked about the need to communicate more, and i asked him if he was falling in love with her, and he said yes. he told me that he loves me and I shouldn't worry about it, because he doesn't feel like breaking up with me. but, apart from the difficulty in communicating, I know this girl and I know that her last relationship was closed, and I'm not sure if it's monogamous, which worries me about a possible relationship between the two of us. When I asked him if he thought about talking about how he felt with her, he told me that he didn't, which makes me feel a little anxious about how things might be in the future, whether he decides to have a more serious relationship with her or not.

i don't think him being in a relationship with her is necessarily problematic, but i do feel that we have communication problems on both sides that would be affected by this, and i end up getting very anxious. and, because of a monogamous background, i know that there is a certain tendency to think about breaking up as soon as these situations arise, but i think of him as a life partner that i don't want to separate from, and i wonder if there are other possibilities for dealing with this. it's hard for me to feel like I have no guarantees, and sometimes I think that breaking up would be the easiest way to deal with it, but I don't think it's the best option, because I wouldn't really be dealing with the anxiety, just eliminating what's causing it. and besides, our relationship is very good, he's always supportive and says he wants to live with me and have a future. that's not something I'd want to let go of like that...

if anyone has ever been in a similar situation, i'd appreciate any advice or stories. :)