My partner (28m) and I (24 f) are ENM and our agreements right now include no sleepovers and use protection and communicate that we will be going out with another person/going on a date. That’s pretty much it. Last night I found out that my partner had invited a girl to spend the night three times in the past month. Not telling me and also getting breakfast/dinner with her without communicating. He told me himself and I never really thought that he would do something like this. I really trusted him. I feel absolutely blind sided by this and I feel like it’s a huge breach of trust of course. He feels bad and has agreed to take a break from ENM for a while to rebuild trust/ go to therapy. I can’t help but feel confused about how to handle this. On one hand I was lied to and I know that’s enough to end a relationship. Also I love him. He is my best friend and I don’t want to break up. I don’t know how to feel. how would you proceed. How would you decide if this is a one time thing or going to be a chronic issue. How would you start to rebuild trust if you decided to stay. For context we are both grad students and we live together. We have been together around a year. This is my second ENM relationship and his first. I was the one who introduced the idea in the beginning of our relationship and am “guiding” the relationship in this aspect as his country/culture does not have dynamics like this.