Okay, now that I’m thinking about it… second worst. At least I’m not pregnant, lmao.

Hi! Y’all probably know me. I’ve been dating my S/O for almost 6 years now, open from the start. Overall it’s been great, with some rocks and bumps… but don’t all relationships go through a few bumps?

Well, the most recent bump is my S/O’s health. Physical and therefore also mental, for about two months now. Going to keep it brief: not contagious, not a sex-related illness, not terminal, does not prevent him from working, more along the lines of chronic pain (though we don’t know the actual prognosis yet). And while I’m happy to take on some additional housework, be the emotional rock, and even occasionally play nurse… man, it really does wear on you. Doesn’t help that S/O is a little grumpier and more physical-touch-averse now (he cuddles and smooches when he can, but that’s often all he has the spoons for).

I’m very conscious about how I fit dating into into this equation. I’ve read the “polyamory is not your vacation villa” essay a few times, and I generally know what NOT to do. I have plenty of experience managing NRE. My comet partner doesn’t know much about S/O’s health situation and I’m trying to be a good hinge and keep it that way. I have no desire to outsource my desire for sex/intimacy or to traumadump all over some random person. Obviously even if I find another partner at this time, I know it would be MEGA stupid to pull away from S/O in his time of need (especially since he’s supported me so much in my own times of need before).

And yet I can’t shake the feeling that I need just a little extra partner support rn. Nothing unreasonable, maybe a date or two out of the house per month. I used to be eager to meet new people but I’ve been in a slump for a few years, and I figure it could be good to get back into it. Comet lives a few hours away and we only really make plans to see each other a few times a year. I have other very casual partners I see occasionally, but I’m missing that new-date-chemistry a little.

So idk. Does anyone have any similar experiences? Any sage wisdom to share? I’d like to share some of my findings here with S/O as well. He knows that I’m looking into dating again and he’s chill with it, but I’d still like to include him in the greater discussion (especially since I know that there are plenty of other people with chronic pain in the community, and y’all tend to have some GREAT advice about that). Any resources would also be awesome! TIA :3