A month or so ago I posted about the struggles I was dealing with about my partner dating someone else for the first time. I'd like to say thank you for all the kind words. Hearing from others who have experienced the same thing made me feel a lot better. ♡

I've learned a lot of things about myself and my partner in the past month, and I am excited and optimistic about the future with her and on my own. Things I've realized about myself:

• I think only a really open minded "monogamous" partner would be happy with me. There are so many aspects of myself that I don't want to be ashamed of or hide from a partner. I don't know my exact flavor of ENM, but being honest with my partner and free to be myself makes me happy. I don't want to be fully monogamous again.

• I have already felt compersion! I was very real with myself going in that when it came to my partner being with others, some attachment based shit was probably going to come up and make me sad. However, it wasn't all the time, and seeing my partner begin to heal a wound that I know has bothered her for so long has been so beautiful. Knowing that my awesome partner is being recognized has been beautiful. I don't expect this feeling, I welcome all feelings. But it is a happy thing for me.

• After hard conversations, we've turned towards each other. I feel like showing my true self emotionally has also allowed me to show my true self sexually and I think the same has been true for her, too. I feel very close, loved, and secure. A little crying followed by a lot of laughs.

• I don't want another long term partnership right now, and that doesn't mean I'm not ENM. I have values that won't change around monogamy. However, right now I'm a first generation student about to graduate in something I'm very passionate about, I'm leaning into my friendships and desire to make art, I'm spending time with my cats, and I just feel very fulfilled by my life with one romantic partner.

  • I like slow burns, crushes, friendships that may never be anything more, temporary flings. If I do desire something with someone else, it may be a long time in the making! But I know that it's worth it for the right relationships, even if my partner has other partners.

Thanks again for your support when I was down, I just wanted to share some happy things from my life. ♡