Hi everyone. Needing some thoughts but first some background. I am in a fantastic relationship with the woman that I believe is the love of my life. She is absolutely amazing in every single aspect (that I care about).We have been together for 1.5 years and recently started opening the relationship. Things are great but communication is still a little tricky...

I have been non-monogamous in most of my previous relationahips so I didnt mind when she asked me to open. The difference is, with my previous relationships I was not this much into one person. I never liked anyone this much. This time somehow I am afraid of losing her because I know she is way too good for me (out of my league if you may).

In the last few weeks my gf has been mentioned that one of her exes is single and he was such a good fuck that she might want to go back and "try again". We talked and I agreed but still feeling a little jealous which is normal, I guess. But I want her to be happy and sex is just that. Sex.

The problem is that recently I have been preparing emotionally to deal with the day they actually meet and found myself very horny thinking about her ex fucking my gf AND her enjoying it a lot. I told her that I have been wanking thinking about her and her ex and she seemed super excited too.

Am I becoming a cuck or using this as a mechanism to protect me from getting hurt. I mean I know my gf and I have amazing sex and it's great if she can enjoy even more. Now I just want her to go fuck him in front of me.

I feel confused and unsure of what to think about all this. Thanks in advance 👌