Hey guys I don't know where to go with this situation since it's the first time I ever experienced something like this.. This is my 1st marriage and we've been married for a year and some change. Prior to us opening our marriage we had some very emotional talks about my husband exploring whether or not he "truly missed" the life he had before we got married- aka him sleeping around with other men as a single guy. We're both bisexual so I understand the desire of wanting intimacy from the same sex. We had this talk a few times and everyone we did, he expressed that he wanted to compromise and he didn't want to lose me because of this. And of course I didn't want to lose him either, but I told him that I didn't feel comfortable opening up our relationship because to me, if we're married then that's that. The life you lived prior to it is done and you're in a new chapter of your life, you know? Plus, I myself don't have any want to see people outside of him because I don't feel the need to. I'm very satisfied with our relationship, sex life , etc.

A few days ago, we had the discussion again, and the way we talked it out seemed like it was either he'd figure out what he wanted while still with me (aka opening our relationship) or we'd split and he'd go back to the life he used to live. Keep in mind, I didn't feel comfortable with opening the relationship and am now also worried about losing my marriage and my best friend. The way he worded what he wanted was like this : "it's want to figure out if I truly miss the act or just the idea of it" which is something that as I'm writing this am still trying to fully understand. So I decided to open the marriage for a month. I told him we'll do this for a month and come back. But now I'm having regrets. He hasn't gone out or anything yet, but this is such uncharted territory for me, my emotions are all over the place.

I just don't know anymore. He says he feels no romantic drive when he was doing what he was doing and is doing this with no emotional connections, and it's "just for the sex". And I'm coming to terms with the fact that he wants to have the married life and also do things he was doing beforehand too. It's all just a lot to wrap my head around even after making the rules and all that.

TLDR:

I opened my marriage with my husband who wants to explore if he misses his single life of having random hookups or just misses the idea of thr single life and it's making me uneasy since I originally never wanted to open the relationship to begin with.