Hi all,

Not sure if this is a beginner-friendly space but I needed an opinion and had nowhere to turn to. For the past two and a half years I have been sleeping and hanging out with a coworker who is in an open marriage. I met most of his family and friends. We see each other often.

[For background I started dating very young, had a decade long traumatic relationship and after a few more years of dating I decided I would rather be a single slut.]

Initially our.. thing(?) was strictly sexual, I did not care whether he lived or died. However as time went on and we started to have more intimate conversations, and seeing each other very frequently (2x a week ish?).. welp I felt I had to ask for some boundaries.

My biggest one was not flirting/making out with/asking for other women's number in front of me. He agreed to this request but broke the rule consistently and after many fights finally admitted that he cannot respect my rule. I thought I would be okay with it, since we do see each other a lot and I do get preferential treatment, but it turns out I can't in fact handle it.

Whenever I try to tell him that discretion is important to me, he fires back that we see each other all the time and he should be allowed to flirt with other people in front of me if he wants to.

I don't want to be controlling or possessive, and I wonder if maybe I am missing something. Are there some blind spots here? Please help me figure this out.