Me and my partner have mutually desired & established an open dynamic since the get go but haven’t exercised it until now (5 months in). He slept with someone else last night, and told me about it (after asking if I wanted to know any detail and I said yes). He asked me how I felt and honestly it made me feel strange, in some strange toxic way almost subconsciously wanting leverage by hooking up with someone else myself?? (I didn’t say that obviously) even though I KNOW that’s not a healthy response. He said he strangely felt a bit guilty, esp since I didn’t hook up with anyone myself that night, and wanted me to know I’m obviously his number 1, and if I wanted to close the relationship that’s also okay and he’s fully happy with just me if I change my mind, or just having threesomes if that’s what I’d prefer. But I don’t actually necessarily want to close it at all… I really like the idea of us having that freedom to explore. No deep insecurity or genuine worry, it just didn’t feel easy picturing him with someone else this very first time. And so I wonder… does it get easier down the line? Do I just need time to get used to it? It’s my first open relationship & his second.

For context we’ve got amazing communication, and a very supportive and mutually loving relationship. Everyone around us always notes how healthy our dynamic has always been.