I’m quite a flirty person with friends, and I’d like to think I’m sex-positive. I think if everybody is cool with it, you totally can (and should!) fuck your friends if you all want to; and that it’s possible to have multiple loving, committed relationships.

Here’s my spot of bother though: I’m in a reenactment hobby, and I’m quite senior in it. I help train people and assess people for ‘promotion’ - in quotes because it is still a hobby, even if some people take it very seriously.

Some of the other combatants and I are quite flirty with each other; but I’ve made it a personal rule that I won’t sleep with or get into new relationships with people that I have that teensy bit of power over. I don’t want people to think “I only progressed because [OP] favours me” or “X only advanced because she slept with [OP]”. Am I over thinking things? Is this a silly rule to hold myself to?

If someone else in a similar position to me in the hobby were sleeping around like that with that mild power imbalance, I’d think them a little skeevy or predatory? Is that an internalised bias I’ve got? Or am I right?

I posted here because I kinda want more experienced people to say I am overthinking and/or have some internalised biases to deal with. Because there are some people, who I’d gladly hook up with (if they wanted to, too) but won’t because of this self-imposed ethic. I don’t think I am wrong about it being unethical though, I just hope I am?

(My long-term partner (27F) also does this reenactment hobby, but we started dating long before I started helping and running these assessments. I’ve had dates and other relationships with people who don’t do this reenactment. We’ve been non-monogamous for ~2years now. Tagged Boundaries & Agreements, but not sure it's the most applicable.)