Hi!

Me (42m) and my partner (42f) have been together since we were very young and have only ever slept with each other. This past summer my partner opened up to the fact that she has a desire to open our relationship to nonmonogamy, pursuing sexual relationships with man and women, as she is discovering her bisexual side.

I was up for it and we had three fantastic months during which we talked a lot, had a lot of sex, and she had a couple of sexual encounters with couples. I am interested in meeting other women (and will actually meet one tomorrow), but I feel this is more important to her than it is for me, as this involves finding out about her bisexuality.

I was generally doing ok throughout this, with some jealousy and insecurities popping up but nothing really major. We talked a lot before and after and sex was amazing between us.

This has changed in the last week. Due to family and personal reason both sex and conversations have slowed down a bit and I feel like we are a bit more distant than we used to be. This led me to heightened anxiety towards ENM with recurring questions such as "what if sex between us is not coming back", "what if we lost our communicative skill" etc. I know these are anxiety-driven thoughts as I struggle with anxiety, and I also know that I have a messed up attachment style that leads me to explode with need for reassurance, which drives my partner further apart.

I'd be happy to explore more this NM arrangement and I love that my partner is getting to do some exploration on her bisexuality, but I don't know if I can incorporate this into our regular lives, as being a bit more distant and having less sex is a normal component of a couple's (with a child!) life.

Has anyone experienced this?

TLDR: recently opened up in our 40s with a child, I'm doing relatively fine, but spiral into anxiety when things between us are less than great. What should I do?