Hey everyone, I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and could really use some advice. My girlfriend recently brought up the idea of opening our relationship again, and I’m struggling with how to process it.

Here’s some context: Two years ago, we tried having an open relationship, but it didn’t go well. The main issue was that we didn’t communicate properly, and things escalated to the point where we broke up. After a lot of discussions, we decided to give our relationship another shot, and it was the right decision. Since then, we’ve been exclusive, and things have been amazing. We now live together, and I’ve even been considering proposing.

A few days ago, she came home after hanging out with some friends and told me about a guy she met who she really likes. After I asked her more about it, she admitted that she has a crush on him. She then suggested that we open our relationship again so she could explore this.

I’m feeling really torn. On one hand, I want to be open to the idea because I care deeply about her and want her to feel fulfilled. On the other hand, I’m finding it hard to process because this time, it feels very specific—she already has someone in mind. What’s making it harder is that this guy shares the same hobby as us, and we’re both very active in that community. This means I’ll likely be seeing him often.

I told her I needed some time to think about it, and that was five days ago. Since then, we’ve been talking about it every day. She’s been open and honest, which I appreciate, but I’m still struggling. I’m not fundamentally opposed to the idea of opening our relationship again, but it’s different this time. Knowing it’s already about someone specific, and seeing how much she’s been messaging him on Instagram, is making me feel uneasy.

When we tried this two years ago, I didn’t feel this level of discomfort, but now it’s hitting me differently. Part of me wants to give it another shot, but another part of me is afraid I won’t be able to handle it emotionally.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it? What should I do?