I hooked up with a couple last night - let's call them Ruby (F) & Amber (M). I have been chatting with Ruby for a few months, we met once solo, and then the the of us hung out very casually about a month ago. Last night I went over to theirs with the notion that intimacy was on the cards. We hung out chatting for a while and then Ruby asked if I wanted to makeout so we went to the bedroom. Initially Amber was just watching and then he got involved in making out and we were down to underwear pretty quickly. I paused before things went too far to check on limits with boundaries, barriers, stds etc (I have g-HSV1 and should've brought this up before things got heated but got caught up) We agreed on some ways to engage that were safer. There was a bit more connection between me & R (and attraction from me) but I felt like we were enjoying ourselves and I wanted to see how things flowed so was open to the connection with A also. But when things were finishing up A said he didn't feel connected. We had a bit of a debrief and I went home.

R messaged me today checking in and said it felt like it left A out and they prefer their threesome dynamic to be more equally shared. And essentially that they don't want to connect again - and currently they aren't playing solo. I guess when I've had threesomes before they have kind of ebbed and flowed and sometimes one person is a little left out but it shifts throughout... But basically I said it's fine, they have to do what works and if something shifts there to let me know.

I also don't know how I'm feeling about being excluded from a solo connection with R. I know it's not completely unicorn hunting if they're just looking for casual threesome partners but something still feels maybe a little icky?