Mostly looking for guidance and support, but if I fucked up I'm open to being told that I did. I was debating on which flair to use but settled with this one.

Sarah (35/f) and I (37/m) have been close friends for decades despite living in different cities for most of our lives, she's approximatelya 4 hour drive. Just under a year ago she admitted that she's always been in love with me and we started what I can best describe as a comet situationship. She knew I was poly and while she didn't have much experience with ENM, I was not the first non-monogamous person she's dated.

Sarah stated dating again locally which I was very supportive of but encouraged her to be honest and open about us early on, but I didnt police it. She recently met Gary and things have been going well, and he eventually asked her to be his girlfriend. I was happy for her but when I asked about what would happen to us, Sarah admitted she hasn't mentioned us to Gary.

I haven't encountered a situation like this since I started ENM but I thought it would be best to put our situationship on hold until she tells him or just end it. We haven't seen eachother since Sarah started dating Gary, so no cheating happened. I'm not worried about our friendship, I honestly believe that we will be friends until one of us dies. I just feel grief over the loss of what we had.

Did I handle it well? Should I have done or do anything differently?