Any “secondaries” with no NP get some sort of allowance? My current BF pursued me (knowing I’m mono) recently.

He and his wife (also a friend of mine) opened their marriage a few years ago due to her realization that she’s lesbian.

They’re highly entangled with kids, finances (he’s extremely well off) and properties. His wife also now has a wife (commitment ceremony) and she spends the bulk of her time with her.

He pursued me (knowing I’m mono) and once we discussed everything he mentioned he’s looking for his life partner. He also states he only has emotional bandwith for one intense relationship.

It’s been going great, amazing actually. NRE is going strong. I discussed with him one of the benefits of a life partner is sharing responsibility (Chores/finances/etc).

Since he’ll never be at my house full time (he essentially coparents with his wife at their farm and they rotate out to spend time with their respective people, this will be a sacrifice I make. I queried if there’s any way this could be remedied.

He mentioned the possibility of some sort of allowance to make thing: more equitable.

Has anyone been in this situation?

ETA: he said he’ll need to speak with his wife and poly therapist about this. It’s nothing I’m wanting or expecting now as our relationship is new (3 mos) but it’s something I had to address to get some semblance of what a future between us would look like.