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Dating a demisexual - advice
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So I've (36f) been talking to someone (36f) who is demisexual. I didn't really know what that was, but I've done lots of research and she explained how it works for her, so I think I do understand her.

The waiting for sex bit is fine, and actually I think the increase in sexual tension (for me at least) will make the sex even better if/when it eventually happens.

I think the only bit I'm struggling with (a bit) is a bit of insecurity about whether, and how much, she actually likes me. My previous ENM partner was not demi, and if I had had any doubts about how much she liked me (I do struggle to read people sometimes), the fact that she initiated a pretty long make out session on our first meet, and then made it clear before our next date that sex was on the cards (and it happened), expelled any doubts.
But obviously I don't have those very obvious signs with this woman.
She likes to flirt and talk sexually, but says that the physical side will still take some time for her. I guess I don't know if she just enjoys flirting per se, or she enjoys flirting with me because she likes me?

We've talked about boundaries etc - she said she was open to a bit of a make out session on the first meet, if there was a connection/chemistry. She also explained that she would want to limit PDA, due to her wish for discretion. So any kissing in public would have to be done in a quiet spot.

Anyway, fast forward our first meet, this is how it went down -

We really got on and chatted for 3 hours! I had suggested beforehand that we could go for a little walk on the beach after the cafe (my hope with that was that we'd find a secluded spot and have a few kisses lol). Anyway she realised that she'd have to go, as we kind of lost track of time, so we didn't have time for the beach. So we were saying goodbye in the car park and she gave me a fairly quick kiss on the lips and we had some big hugs/cuddles which was lovely. I kissed her as well, again just a simple kiss on the lips, not a snog lol.
She said she'd had a lovely time and that she wanted to meet me again, neither of which I am remotely doubting. But I guess I'm just getting used to seeing someone who is demi.

My intrusive/insecure feelings are wondering - did she deliberately not suggest going on the beach because she didn't want to make out with me? If yes, why? Does she not fancy me enough or does she just not feel a connection enough yet? And which is preferable lol?! Or did she simply lose track of time? I know she has a high sex drive (she's told me) but at the same time needs to feel an emotional connection to want to get physical with someone. As I say, we've had quite alot of sexy chats, which she has definitely enjoyed and been a happy participant in. So I guess I'm just trying to marry the various different characteristics of her together and be less insecure lol. And it's left me emotionally exhausted lol.

Any advice/words of wisdom?!

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2 months ago