I, 25F, am non-monogamous. About a year ago, I ended a 3 year relationship. Since then, I started dating recently in August of this year. I have found a particular partner, we can call him Max, that I really enjoy having around. although, in the beginning of us talking to one another, he shared with me that he is a monogamous type person. I shared with him that my most recent relationship was non-monogamous and I have explored many different paths within a relationship, and I was honest about how I enjoy non-monogamy. However, this is a dealbreaker for Max. When Max and I started talking, I was not looking for any other companionship, other than just one person. Max and I have continued to see each other now and things have gotten intimate between us. He is infatuated with me. I know I am the center of his world and that he would do anything at the drop of the hat for me. I really like as a person, and I like how respectful they are with me and that they put me on a pedestal. The areas in which this person lacks are that they are not independent, they are not currently employed, and they currently live with their parents. I have a very hard time with this because I am a single mother, I am very independent, codependency turns me off and is triggering because of my last relationship, and simply I feel as though our goals and our ambitions in life do not align. I am the kind of person that wants to see action before words. I don’t want you to tell me you’re going to do something. I want you to show me. With that being said it has been very hard for me to fully invest or emotionally, give myself 100% with this person because they are just not meeting specific requirements for my needs in my next partner. I want a long-term partner, potentially life partner, however, I have been burned in relationships to the point where I feel as though I can get what I need from a partner through multiple different partners. I’m having a very hard time trying to settle down with one person.

With that being said, I have told the person I am seeing I feel as though I want to continue to focus on me until we can both be ready for a relationship where we can give each other what we’re are wanting equally. How do I try to go back on this new relationship that I’ve developed with Max and tell them how I feel about non-monogamous relationships and where that puts us without hurting his feelings or making him feel like I’ve led him on?