I’m (F) interested in NM, but unsure how to approach it alone if that makes sense.

I’ve been doing research, and most of the information I’ve found is that people have explored NM through the context of a relationship (opening their relationship, or dating someone who was NM who through that connection discovered and fostered their interest).

As someone who is single, and I guess who has been NM by default —I have not had any serious romantic relationships in the past, long distance lovers who I’ve kept in contact with while also dating casually locally, and in general casual FWB situations that have not required monogamy— how can I know if NM is for me if I’ve never experienced monogamy?

My main exposure to NM has been men who have partners and want to add me as a FWB or casual sex partner, which also makes me feel a bit used and devalued tbh. It feels as though I’m not good enough to experience romance outright, but good enough to be a side piece or only for casual sex. I want to explore relationships that value freedom and autonomy, but that also where respect, romance, and consideration can be found within. I hope to experience relationships that I can show up for and expect the same in reciprocity.

Is it harder for NM to be explored outside of the context of an existing couple? How did you all determine NM was the life for you, outside of the needs and wants of a partner? Do you need the mirror of monogamy to help you make this determination?