We met via a dating app. I was clear that I'm a monogamist and he deleted the app very quickly after we met. He didn't chat to other women via the app since we met. He told me that he's a one-woman-at-a-time guy. He is neurodiverse (AuDHD).

He has been in open relationships before and all didn't work out. He cheated on his previous girlfriend (monogamy relationship) and still feels guilty. He said he felt disconnected with his ex and that's why he cheated. They broke up shortly after, however they were fwb for a while till she moved on.

He doesn't have many friends. A few women that he has dated or in a relationship with, ended up being friends. He says that he doesn't know how to make friends in a normal/non-romantic way.

He would make comments on women and I feel jealous. He feels being controlled when I'm jealous. He said he would want to have connection with other people and ANYTHING could happen.

I asked him if non-monogamy is his relationship preference but seems like that he is unsure. He said "I'm being non-monogamy with you. I'm free to choose and I choose this relationship." When I kept asking him if a monogamous relationship can bring him the fulfilment he needs, he said "it depends if my partner makes it feel right or wrong".

Once, after we had a fight, I was on the edge of breaking up with him. He asked me not to. I said I wouldn't want to waste my time and might meet other people. He said, "I can be your side guy."

I'm having trouble processing this because I'm simply confused. I know I shouldn't hold his past behaviour against him but also I don't want to get involved if he is a non-monogamous. I know there also is cheating in non-monogamous relationships. I'm just so, so, so confused right now.