My wife (38F) and I (40M) have been open for most of this year and have a formal document that we made and signed that stated our boundaries. One of the big ones is the use of condoms is required for intercourse. No big deal, right?

We went in for testing about a month ago and they found chlamydia on her test and none on mine. No big deal… things happen. One pill for both of us and we are good to go. Something just hasn’t sat quite right with me about the timing of the tests or the “hey I’m going in to get checked today” text I got.

Last week I was on our shared online medical records and decided to snoop. Her doctor takes great notes including a note that “patient had unprotected sex 2-3 months ago and again 2.5 weeks ago” (we have unprotected sex weekly so I doubt she was talking about me). This is definitely a violation of our agreement if it’s true.

My hypothesis is that her friend had it and that he told her to go get checked. This fits everything including how she deleted their messenger chat from that timeframe (we have full access to each others socials).

Our relationship has been on the rocks lately and we decided to close our marriage and focus on “us” and see a councilor. This is the only unanswered and triggering thing that’s left undone from that chapter in our lives and I want to know if she did actually have unprotected sex with these guys. I’m afraid that if I ask her point blank what happened that she’ll either lie or blow up at me for snooping.

The thing is that if it’s true the unprotected part really doesn’t bother me that much but it would mean that she lied to me, which will hurt. So redditors what do you advise that I do? I don’t want the fight (if it turns into one) and her answer won’t have a major impact on our relationship going forward so should I “let sleeping dogs lie” and just focus on mending the relationship?