My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for about 6 months. We have relationships with 3 couples, and my wife has developed a crush/relationship with one of the men from those couples. I have not had such luck yet.

It has been difficult for me to really embrace their relationship. I of course want her to be happy and enjoy this process, regardless of who is dating who. I know so much of this is timing and luck. But I can’t shake the feeling that if I’m not in a relationship, I can’t be comfortable with her being in one.

I really believe in ENM… I’m searching hard to get out of my own way and fully embrace what I know to be a very fulfilling process.

TIA for your thoughts and advice!

Edit: Last night, we were with the couple mentioned above. Everything was going great, (haunted house drinks play time) when suddenly I became overcome with insecurity and discomfort, and I asked if we could leave... literally while we were all piled on each other. I know how embarassing that was for my wife, but I had to do what was right for me in that moment. Now my wife is concerned that she can't trust whether I want to be ENM or not... I don't blame her, but I also feel that it's a very significant commitment that can lead to swells of comfort levels; good and bad.

PLZ HALP 😭