I (33F) and my partner (34M) have been NP for nearly 8 years, and open for around 4 or 5 years.

We started out by having threesomes after I shared that I was bisexual and would like to experience one. Over time, we realised that opening our relationship made us happier and more comfortable with each other. Like, we are in the healthiest stage of our relationship ever.

It's been a slow burning process - Covid, family situations and just work commitments have meant there's only been a few occasions for any dates/connections. It has been one sided currently (him) as I haven't currently felt the need to - though being honest, I think it's more fear to do it. I also think I'm on the wrong sites lol

We've had one bad situation where he went on a date with someone, had been intimate sexually and came home and was very distant. It could have been handled so much differently and to be fair, we've discussed lots about boundaries and scenarios so it eases my anxiety.

But he's on a date currently and I just don't know why this one is bothering me more. He met her on Feeld, and I feel like there's more than a sexual connection so maybe I'm feeling a little threatened. At the beginning I was very supportive of him and I really do enjoy how happy it makes him but this week as it's been leading up, it's been hard to fight the feeling to just pull a 180 and cancel the whole thing. I know full well once the date is over, we'll be absolutely okay and I'm secure knowing he loves me but I think maybe it's the prospect of them going on another date as the other's have just been one offs.

Also, maybe it's because I haven't gone out there in the wild yet that I am feeling stabs of jealousy and anxiety? I don't know how to explain it. All I know is I'm riddled with anxiousness and I feel sick :( But I don't want us to not be open or him to not go on dates/be sexual with other people. What is that all about?! Any advice please?

TL;DR - my partner is on a date and I think I'm spiralling, how can I manage this?