Hey ya’ll. I’m feel really physically anxious right now and I can’t seem to convince my body that it’s safe. My long distance boyfriend of 2 years who I am in an open relationship with recently started seeing someone new. She’s a coworker so they work together multiple nights a week, they are in the same friend group and now they are hooking up. It’s definitely more intertwined that any relationship either of us have had up to this point. We’ve both hooked up with other people in the past and he’s struggled with it so much so that I’ve found myself not seeing anyone for the past year for fear of creating issues in the relationship. This isn’t something he asked me to do but his overwhelmingly negative response often felt like too much for me to handle and I didn’t want to get anyone else involved because I felt like I would likely end up having end things abruptly to prioritize my primary relationship. However all this time my partner has been very adamant that he want this relationship and does want it to be open. As for his hook up history he’s had a few ONS here and there and has had some experiences with other close friends although none of them went very far. I know he wants something more consistent which is what this new FWB is. I have had succesful open relationships in the past but none this serious. For some reason my body us responding with extreme anxiety at this new situation even though logiclly I'm not totally sure why. I've been nauseated to the point of throwing up multiple times in the past couple weeks. My heart races and my whole body feels cold. No amount of journaling, meditation, excersise, or time with my friends has helped. I’ve met her and she great and I really liked her but it still didn’t ease my anxiety. What feels worse is that my partner is very upset that I’m having a hard time with this. He has accused me of not wanting non monogamy and says that my anxiety is making him anxious. I feel really bad because he’s right in that I am the one with more experience in non monogamy (we started the relationship open but only because I was very transparent from the jump that it was what I wanted) and this is really making me scared that I’m one of those awful manipulative people who wants only wants non monogamy for myself and can’t handle it when their partner starts seeing other people. He also has already started and ended things with this person twice (not at my request) initially because he said it was too hard to hu with a coworker but later dropped that it’s because my response has made him to anxious. What can I do to get my body to stop acting like this is a life or death situation. I really want to be supportive of this new relationship but it’s so hard to when it’s sending me into this much of a pit of anxiety.