I've been in 2 mostly monogamous relationships in my life that were 3 and 5 years each. In the first, we explored some swinging about a year in but closed thereafter as it wasn't working for her. In the second, it began somewhat loosely but ended up creeping into monogamy. We lived together for 2 years, and in the end went our separate ways becuase of clashing directions with career and location my interest in non-monogamy was unfulfilled, even though she had agreed to it (I knew she didn't like it deep down and confronted the issue). It ended lovingly and supportively with both of us going our separate ways but keeping in touch.

Now I'm here in my early thirties a lot older and wiser, much more confident in who I am and what I want. I live in a new country, have a solid career, savings, a cat, and a million stories under my belt. Soon, I want to approach dating again, very much with the intention of creating a long-term relationship, however, this is quite challenging as an ENM person (perhaps extra as a man) as it is hard to convince people - even those who may be genuinely aligned with my values - that I am serious about forming a romantically monogamous relationship.

I'm not poly, but I am not just looking for endless fucking around on the side, especially at the beginning of a new relationship. Not interested in sharing emotionally, but I do want someone who is mutually sexually open and adventurous so that we can explore this facet of our personality together. Also looking for someone ambitious, who cares about their health and fitness, and is artistically minded like me.

My susicion is that the ENM tag instantly screams "this guy only wants a hookup", which makes me reluctant to use it. I want to get to know someone to prove that I am not that, that I am serious. At the same time, this has to come up somehow, so how do people approach this? State it all upfront in the bio and just be patient?