My (35f) partner (38m) is having really hot sex with a new person. He comes home with scratches on his back, they sext each other. I'm not someone who naturally feels compersion, I can rationalise it and say to myself in practice "that's exciting for him to have these experiences" but the thing I struggle with is, our sex isn't hot and heavy, nor do we sext or have we really ever. I've certainly tried, I'm a dirty bish and I love it, but I almost feel sometimes like I've been placed in the girlfriend box and that maybe it's not exciting to do those things with someone you've been with for almost 3 years. Obviously jealousy and insecurities are at play here and that's on me, but how do you chill out those feelings of inadequacy and not feeling like you're exciting enough for your partner? He tells me our relationship is special because we Iive together, but that's also circumstantial because financially he couldn't afford to not share a place with me. I so want to be excited for him. I know we can explore desires with others, but damn these feelings be tough, I still want to feel like hot stuff to him. I've had hot sex with others and it's great and I still love my boyfriend, but yeh, I may feel at times sex isn't as exciting with him because we're used to each other, so maybe it feels the same way for him? Is that just how life goes in general?

What do others do to not feel so insecure about this?