Hi all,

I’ve (f35) been practicing ENM with my husband (m36) for the past 3 years, and for the most part, things have gone well. However, I’m dealing with some inner conflict and would love some support or advice, especially from those who’ve faced something similar.

There’s a man, let’s call him Adam (m36), who I have this undeniable chemistry with. The attraction always has been very intensebetween us and, honestly, quite overwhelming. But here’s the dilemma: Adam has a history as a serial cheater, and while I value the ethical aspect of non-monogamy, he doesn’t seem to align with those values.

To complicate things further, my husband has made it clear that he won’t accept Adam. I respect that so I cut Adam off a while ago. We were in No contact but I recently after bumped into him. It was a chance meeting and all those feelings resurfaced, and I’m feeling torn. I know I can’t act on these feelings (and we have no contact agai after the chance meeting) but it’s hard to ignore the intensity.

Has anyone else been in a situation where your values didn’t align with someone you felt a strong pull toward? Or where your partner wasn’t comfortable with someone you were drawn to? How did you navigate it? How did you manage your feelings? I’m looking for some support or guidance on how to work through this inner conflict.

Thank you in advance💜