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I'm talking about receiving non-intrusive, nor disgusting messages. Messages that say more than hi. I don't think this is gender specific, but I'm a male dating women. I just don't get it. I'll put effort into messages (referencing something in their profile), polite & briefly recap what I'm looking for (a FWB or more) & ask them the same to get the conversation started. Out of 10, 8-9 don't reply, don't disconnect, just exist in connections that I never hear from. Those that do, if we have decent chemistry we meet, the dates go great & we continue seeing each other until things peter out or we keep seeing each other. So it's not like I have no charm. While my number of connections doesn't come remotely close to the # my female partners get, I do a lot better than most men on the apps. So is it mostly accidentally swipes? Am I supposed to blow them away in the opening message with mind blowing wit even though we've never had a conversation? Is it something else?
Aside question- what have been some of the most memorable/fond opening messages you've received through the apps? What are opening messages that aren't a simple hi or offensive that you aren't fond of getting?
Thank you. That's how I am or I will just disconnect & not leave conversation open. If it's a mistake swipe I'll disconnect, if mistake is either meant to swipe other way or missed something in their profile that is extremely off-putting or clear we're not compatible. But everyone works differently so it's been nice hearing others' reasons, some are what I suspected, others are now what I suspected.
Thank you for the thoughtful reply. And I don't take it personally, just curious to hear from the other perspective since my mind is very don't leave a task incomplete so if i mistake swipe or I get a message (from a match) I am compelled to reply or disconnect depending on the situation. I know we all have different perspectives so it's been great reading the different perspectives & reasons you & others gave. One of the reasons you & others gave is what I suspected before posting the question: Women are overwhelmed & get saturated so even if they stay active on the app it's easy to get lost in the mix and never gotten to.
These are matches, that I then message. I totally understand not replying to a message from someone that doesn't interest you. And I also totally understand a & b too. Just needed the other perspective because if I mistake swipe & end up matching or if someone says something off putting to me or in their profile I didn't originally catch I either mention said things & see how they reply out just disconnect, so just curious how people who don't work like that, what is their thought process.
Thank you & everyone else for their thoughtful replies.
For first messages, what are some that stand out?
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Not taking it personal. Just was thinking about it recently about how often it happens over the years & curious what those who don't reply some of the reasons. I'm a bit type A so I can't leave emails and texts or messages on read, etc. if someone is clearly not a match I'll disconnect or not match with them in the first place. This isn't me thinking my way is the correct way, just curious what the thought process for those who have a different style. Like if I saw something I missed in their profile that made them not a match and then reread their profile after matching my brain would compel me to either disconnect or say hey I don't think we're compatible because it seems like on your profile you're looking for y & I'm looking for x. Love the username btw.