I need some good advice or how to navigate this.

I (32M) I'm married for 6 years to my 29W we have two kids one 5 the other 2, how can I bring up to her that I have been wanting to open our relationship again but this time for both, we opened our relationship last year from Jan 2023 to Sep 2023 for her to have her first time sexual experience with a woman 1 on 1, I was not there or even participated in the event, after that she found the woman she liked and had sex with, we closed it back again.

For background, I have only been intimate with 5 women in all my years and two of those have been long relationships my first one being from 18-26 then this one 26- present. I have always felt like im non-monogamous but For the past year I have been catching myself fantasizing or day dreaming again about flirting with other women and I felt like this during my past long relationship too. I don't want to cheat or do anything to cheat but I still feel this strong desire to meet other women and not strictly for sex but to go on dates and talk and flirt and all of that. We had talks about having 3 ways with women but nothing has come of it, i have brought up swinging but she also has no interest in other men as she puts its, I'm also not asking for a hall pass either for me I'm more of a connection for sex type of person.

I went out Saturday with some friends and met this beautiful woman that we had such good chemistry and we almost kissed, I dint took her number or anything but I did want to. I'm torn because I don't want to cheat, and I love my partner so I also dont want a divorce either but I happened to go through a tragic event recently that made me realize that life is short and I don't want to keep feeling this way.