Hello!

My (34M) Partner (32F) and I have been in an open relationship for two months. It's been going well. She's fairly secure in me seeing other people and often encourages it. I am similar despite being newer to non monogamy so I am often dealing with jealousy & insecurity. We communicate incredibly well together. Nothing is held back and we find common ground often. She is very good at reassuring me, validating me, and making me feel safe.

However, there is one subject that is festering within myself.

Her previous relationship ended half a year ago, and her partner left her. She told me she was stuck in the relationship and knew it wasn't good for her, he made her feel insecure, but her attachment style sort of kept her in it until he broke it off. They have since reconnected to find closure in that aspect of their relationship, and hope to remain friends when he is ready.

She did describe to me that she hopes one day, down the road, that they could be friends and potentially enjoy sex together, because she did say they had great sex. She ensured that this would only be on a sexual and friend level, and she is resolute in the fact that they were not meant to be primary partners and life partners, and that I am the one she wants in that aspect of her life.

This idea, which she said could never happen, but if it COULD happen, she would pursue.

My insecurity has flared and there are times where this idea bubbles up in my mind and I get uncomfortable and jealous of a potential scenario that may or may not happen. I feel threatened because of how their relationship ended despite them both saying they are not the right fit for each other romantically.

For anybody in this subreddit who has perhaps dealt with something similar, how did you navigate through this?

Thank you in advance!