No wrong answers. Curious how many times you meet a new person/potential play partner before having sex with them. In the world of nonmonogamy, I feel like I’m a slow burn… I’m both sapiosexual and demisexual, so I need connection and trust before getting naked.

I realize that the blanket of nonmonogamy has so many dynamics. My husband and I date separately (ideally with each of us having 1 consistent/regular play partner whom we see weekly for date/play). We are very selective, and seek connections that are friendship-based, vs. getting intimate the first or second time we meet someone. Before having sex with my last play partner, I think we had been dating weekly, sometimes twice a week for 5-6 weeks… and had talked online for a week or two before that. We rounded the bases in order, but over time. (The sexual tension that built was pretty awesome!) I was fortunate that he was also seeking a mix between foster girlfriend and fuck buddy, so he was happy to invest the time up front.

I’m not seeking to change my current dynamic, as it’s what feels most comfortable to me. I’m just curious about the other dynamics and how/what works for you.

I’m also specifically interested in the talks/standards you have around STI testing and safety. I don’t progress beyond kissing and manual play without exchanging current STI results. I also test before and after each partner, and don’t overlap multiple play partners (just my personal preference). I don’t expect my play partner to be exclusive, but I do expect him to update me with anything that could affect my health, allowing me to have informed consent.

If you overlap partners, what’s the norm for disclosure of other partners/STI testing etc.