I've been poly/practicing relationship anarchy since i was a teenager. I'm 32 F, hetero and I've been with my nesting partner, Shane, 36 M for 5 years. I've had 2 male partners out of town for a few years, too. Shane wasn't poly when we met so i explained it to him and he was ok with it. Shane is in school 1 hour away and has a difficult illness, comes home on weekends. We get along great.

Also, because of his illness, he lost interest in sex, so we haven't had sex in a while, which is tough. Shane hasn't had the energy, time or interest to date anyone else so he remains committed to me. He would be open to it though. None of my other partners have a live-in partner like me but they date around.

While Shane was gone away to school during the summer, I got bored and lonely. I met some sweet guys, Jay and Will who are also on the spectrum /poly. We went out, played board games, went to live music. I met Rob in July, Jay invited him & Will over to my place. We played board games, danced together, had a blast. I had no idea Rob had a monogamous GF at the time but he was interested in being poly.

Rob and I danced together, chatted, added each other on FB right away. He told me he wanted to learn some of the same hobbies I'm into, so we hung out for about a month before we started dating. He met Shane & they get along. In the meantime, I only found out weeks into hanging out with him that Rob had a gf, but he ended things 2 nights after meeting me, after her tests. they'd been dating monogamously for about 4 months, and she knew he was curious about poly from the beginning, before they dated, but she isn't. Also, she was waiting to find out if she had a terminal illness and was in the hospital for tests just the day before Rob came to my place.

I can relate to having a partner I care about who's sick and also still wanting to go out and have fun. Apparently she was waiting to find out the results of her hospital test and went no-contact with Rob for over 1 month while he and I were hanging out, going out together to festivals with friends, camping, bonfires, dancing, and eventually dating/sleeping together (at Rob's place).Rob is also coming to my parent's winter home for the holidays with some other friends, but Shane can't come.

Rob and his ex are back to talking (which i don't care about, and I don't get jealous). She had told Rob that she didn't want him to stay with her out of pity/obligation just because she may have that terminal illness, so not sure why she was ever angry? Since I started dating Rob, I began getting flack from mutual friends/acquaintances. AlTA for dating a new guy who met me when he was still with his ex who was in the hospital? And for leaving my live-in boyfriend at home /school when he's sick, and isn't dating anyone else (which is his choice), while Rob and I are going out on dates and sleep together?