Hi! I (39f), together with my husband (40m) for 19 years, and we have been open for over 2.

In June, I met my part time lover (42m). He is in a similar marriage structure (both married same amount of time, open same amount of time, have two boys, lots of life to balance).

It's been wonderful. I enjoy every second I have with him. Just recently came back from a trip where he joined me for two days and it was just perfect.

But as NRE wears off, I find that the time between our dates (averaging every couple of weeks, because life) is more painful. It's usually a small text here and there every couple of days. It feels conflicting because the intensity of our time together is just so different. We text like we are acquaintances now, just stopping by for a moment to say hello, and check our pulses. But we make love like our lives depend on it.

He recently called me his girlfriend. And though I initially found it endearing, it also gave me pause. I think as a girlfriend, I probably wouldn't be ok with the lack of engagement between our dates. As a girlfriend, maybe I should expect more?

I think about him often, I fantasize about him often. Just feel conflicted. Sometimes I feel like I love him too much and I should retreat emotionally. And other times I tell myself that this is part of the process of opening my heart and sharing my body with someone and I should learn to accept the time apart as is and regulate my emotions.

I'm not sure if others have felt the same way. If so, how did you handle it?