I’ve been seeing my male partner for about 3 months. What initially started as a kink connection has become very emotionally intimate. Ive been clear from the beginning that I’m exploring ENM and though he has never, he is interested in giving it an honest attempt. For the record, he’s very open, honest, emotionally mature, and considerate by nature, so I feel very comfortable exploring this with him even though I’m relatively new and he is BRAND new to this lifestyle.

He started seeing another woman (32 with previous ENM experience) about a month ago. Due to my quickly developing feelings for him, it took some adjustment, but nothing huge and I’m comfortable with this addition. This connection with her is also kink based and we have all been intimate together at this point. She’s lovely and it’s been fun. I want to continue with what we’re doing together and separately. He expressed that this configuration of people is a good place to learn and didn’t intend on adding anyone else to the landscape at this time.

We talk very openly and honestly about pretty much all things and he shared with me that he and his ex wife had been finding new common ground as of late. They have a healthy coparenting relationship (kids are young adults navigating college and last year in HS). They have been divorced for about 5 years and have not been intimate or romantic whatsoever during this time. They have both done a lot of self work and have grown as individuals since they split. It sounds like they are mutually interested in exploring what a new connection looks like for them. He’s been open with her about his journey with ENM and what partners he currently has. He’s told her that he’s not interested in ending the already established connections as well. I don’t feel that he’s being deceitful in anyway.

This concerns me. Not only would he be adding an additional person to share time and emotional investment with, this is someone he has deep history with. It’s a lot to manage with him being new and feels complicated. I feel like I may be setting myself up for heartbreak if I continue seeing him with this configuration of partners in a “new” stage. Not sure if I should if I should give it the benefit of the doubt or just exit gracefully now. I really do like him and the connection this far has been amazing.